Once upon a time, in the not too distant future, Professor Demetrious Emilio Hasselblad Womelsdorf Detritus: Author, Inventor, Raconteur, Physics Genius, Media Laughingstock, Paranoid Schizophrenic, and Criminal Mastermind, has been slowly going mad over the course of his multiple-life-sentences, incarcerated in Gernsback Lunar Prison Facility on the far side of the Moon for countless charges of fraud, embezzlement, tax evasion, check kiting, squirrel molestation and several complex ponzi schemes related to his connection to inventing the famously failed Majestic 12 sports car design debacle, indelibly marring the once sterling reputation of the long-ailing Rossiter Motor Conglomerate, located in Berlin, New Jersey.

During his time served, Professor Detritus secretly constructs his greatest invention: an actual working Time Machine with plans for him to escape his dungeon and right all the injustices made against him by his innumerable enemies both real and imagined: including fixing the design flaw in the Majestic-12 that made the vehicle, and himself, so infamous.

For that purpose alone Detritus creates one final invention with the last of the spare parts from his project: AB-J0IVZ, or, Abernathy Jonz, a self rationalizing robotic android to be used as a test subject and pioneer pilot for the time machine and also double as a surreptitious agent to rectify the Majestic-12’s famous flaw.

In an incredible display of noise, light, and the curvature of the space-time continuum, Jonz travels through a controlled man-made button hole in the universal fabric and lands shaken but unharmed in a parking lot somewhere in Atlantic City, New Jersey in the Summer of 1982.

After accomplishing his mission by rectifying the car’s principal design imperfection, Jonz returns to the Moon and the future/present with a mission report, a plea for freedom, and a suitcase full of Haggar Men's Mynx Gabardine Expandable Waist Pleated Dress Pants. But before Jonz can finish presenting his case it is revealed that Detritus has been preparing the construction of Jonz’s replacement, with machine parts from a television set and several vending machines, and in a senseless panic akin to a robotic nervous breakdown, he escapes with the aid of the time machine to 1980.

In twelve point four seconds the android returns from fourteen months of careful, surreptitious corporate tampering and as much shopping as robotically possible and in a blink of an electronic eye not only has Professor Detritus’ fortunes been radically changed and his reputation completely cleared of any legal negligence, he now appears—in a newly minted version of historical hindsight—an important visionary and socially conscious iconoclast of forward-thinking change.

Who Knew?