Thursday, May 20, 2010

Futurepants!

After accomplishing his mission by rectifying the car’s principal design imperfection (by way of a newly reconfigured cigarette lighter), Jonz returns to the Moon and the future/present with a mission report, a plea for freedom, and a suitcase full of Haggar Men's Mynx Gabardine Hidden Expandable Waist Pleated Dress Pants.

But before Jonz can finish presenting his case it is revealed that Detritus has been preparing the construction of Jonz’s replacement, with machine parts from a television set and several vending machines, and in a senseless panic akin to a robotic nervous breakdown, he escapes with the aid of the time machine to 1979.
Fearing The Professor’s wrath, Jonz attempts to return his cache of slacks but is rejected when it is revealed his receipt is from the future. He takes to the streets lamenting his imminent destruction awaiting the moment his creator appears to exact punishment, all the while shopping extensively for Houndstooth Check Poly Pants in shades burgundy, tan and white with two inch belt loops, front slit pockets and back set in pockets.

Professor Detritus, bribing his dim-witted prison guard with the promise of building a friendly robot dog that poops newly minted twenty dollar bills, is granted a 1-Day pass from his cell to use the time machine and retrieve his robot. When he arrives at his destination the era that he once knew and lived in has been irrevocably altered by Jonz’s seemingly innocent actions of car design manipulation and pants shopping producing an alternate reality the flip-side of our own.

Detritus tracks Jonz down easily, following the trail of discarded receipts and price tags, and is about to shut his invention down for good when…

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